Give to Receive

Traffic in Costa Rica,

When I speak to new or want-to-be writers about any successes I have had as a writer, whether as a journalist or a fiction writer, some will interrupt me, talk over me, change the subject. This often happens even after I have been deeply supportive of their writing. I understand that the subject makes them uncomfortable, that perhaps they wish they were writing more and had more success, but this behavior is a sure way to block yourself as a writer.

I hear from people in writers’ groups, who are surprised by the lack of support they feel in what is supposed to be a supportive environment. Other writers’ jealousies must be addressed. We cannot move forward artistically if we remain in a small jealous place.

The more congratulations you give to other writers’ success, the more support you will feel. The more you give, the more you will receive. Being small and mean about someone else’s success is a sure way to block your own progress. The successful person will stop engaging with you, leaving you more alone in your process. People can feel your lack of supportive energy and your peers will move away from you too.

I believe this sort of selfish, jealous behavior leads directly to artistic depressions. It stops the flow of creative energy. It blocks the support the universe wants to give you. The more you let spirit flow through you and engage your highest self and emanate that toward others’ successes, the more that high-end spirit informs your own life. You feel lifted up when you lift others up.

I was just watching a program on PBS about an Iraq veteran who was suffering post-traumatic stress. He was enraged, violent toward his family, so depressed he thought often about suicide. After doing one program on the guy, PBS re-visited the veteran. He told them the airing of the show drew hundreds of letters from other suffering vets. He became their advocate. He started to heal. He GAVE BACK instead of staying in his internal depressed state.

I feel this with writing coaching. I help a lot of people writing memoir about traumatic childhoods. I had my own trauma. The healing that’s happened for me in supporting other writers has been unbelievable. I feel humbled and blessed.

Look at your own attitude toward other writers’ success…writers who are many years ahead of you, your peers and those who are newer than you. If you can come from a true soul place of congratulations, when you can openly and lovingly support them, then you are truly on your way to success.

If you act small and mean, the universe will respond in kind.

I’m a writing coach…


2 thoughts on “Give to Receive

  1. Thank you for an insightful post. When I was in writing groups, I always found that if the dynamic was impeded by one person who was petty, then the group would not work.

    Being able to praise another person’s writing should be taught in every entry-level writing course. Peer review can be immensely helpful if the reviewers take their assignment seriously and seek to find the good as well as the bad.

    Personally, there is nothing that I enjoy more than to encounter by chance a truly gifted writer. That is one of the thing’s that I enjoy about blogrolling.


  2. I couldn’t agree more with you, Carrie. It’s not like compliment are limited. There is room for everyone’s genius, if we all thought about it differently.

    Speaking of which, I’ve always been a fan of your art, including your photography, but your latest pics on your blog are absolutely stunningly beautiful. The tree reflection, the traffic — just amazing. You go girl!


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